Three Weird Talents I’ve Acquired in China


Greetings, ladies and gents. Another day and another post!

This is another post on life for those who want to hear a bit more about me! It’s on three very interesting talents I’ve learned to master in China. (or Thailand.) I’m putting them here so you can know that I am a very interesting guy with more than a few quirkily quirky quirking quirks. (Like repetitiveness.)

Talent #1: Riding a Bicycle Without the Use of My Two Hands and the Five Fingers on Each So That They Can Be in Many Different Positions Without Tipping My Body Over Through an Improper Balance of Weight

This one isn’t a biggie, but it’s worth talking about! I was at the peak of my abilities in Beijing where I practiced nigh every day on the way to the foster home I worked at. I could go very fast and for long distances, and not only that, turn at 90º angles. I could go over speed bumps too, I think. I’m trying to re-harness that ability here in Hohhot on the way to Ping Pong practice thrice a week. So far I’m doing well, and with my arms free I can warm myself from the encroaching cold.

Talent #2: Impressions and Impersonations

I can accurately mimic a few well known people or mice, a few of them being

  • Rumplestiltskin from Once Upon a Time (TV show).
  • Mickey Mouse.
  • a few Muppets.
  • any old Scottish Viking you happen to meet.

I do Rumplestiltskin the best. I can do his insane voice, and I’m working on his sane side. It’s getting better. I’ve almost got it. My sister, Page, is always wanting to record it, but I hate watching it because it doesn’t seem right that such a high-pitched squeaky mouse voice is coming out of my mouth.

Talent #3: Using my Cupped Hands to Produce Nigh Any Melody

Have you ever seen someone cup their hands around their mouth and blow through their thumbs, producing a hollow whistle? I can do that. On our way back from Thailand however, I learned how to change its pitch by tightening and loosening my hands. Now, from muscle memory and practice, I can play tons of songs with only my hands. It’s now as natural as whistling. The cool thing though is that I can also make noises with my mouth at the same time, just like you can both whistle and go “oooh” at the same time. Harmonization doesn’t work (I’d have to have two different thought processes going on at the same time) but I can produce a cool off-key haunted sound, like in the circus tune. It sounds pretty scary when I whistle it and make the corresponding mouth noises at the same time.

So that’s it! I hope you think my talents are interesting, and I’ll see you next time!


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